Parenting from the Heart

If our school gardens could talk, they would tell us about one of their important roles: offering the gift of soft focus to everyone who walks over their craggy surfaces. Through the decades, they may have changed form and shape, but our gardens have always been sources of crucial nurturance and restoration. Countless children have soaked up the healing power of our gardens to support the growth of their inner worlds and the belief that they can be caretakers of the earth. Th

“You’ve grown up so much!” we tell children at this time of year. As the school year concludes, we wish we could find words to let them know how amazing their growth has been. No matter what their age, they are in many ways different people than they were when they entered the classroom last fall.  Teachers often try to articulate the qualities individual students have developed, but it can be hard to choose words that have meaning for the child. Room 8 teacher Chloe Gilmore

Is patience quantifiable? That was the light-hearted question that emerged during a lively discussion at the Meher School’s first Women’s Support Circle last Wednesday. Most of the women who attended didn’t know each other well and have diverse life circumstances. Some have small children, others teens or grown children, and a few were teachers with no children of their own. However, the consensus was that patience is a valuable commodity that deserves our attention. “I work

Wouldn't we all love to have a road map to prepare us for the next big transition in our lives? That’s what our TK students have tried to create for preschoolers who are about to make the big leap to TK and kindergarten. They worked as a group to make an enticing hand-drawn map of the kindergarten yard. Last Friday the entire Room 7 class visited the shared Rooms 1 and 2 yard and unfurled a giant scroll, featuring their artistic renderings of fun places to play on their yard.

A few weeks ago, when North Italia (a new Walnut Creek restaurant) opened next door to the Cheesecake Factory, all four administrators, Ivy, Vince, Warren, and I, slipped away for a pre-grand opening lunch. David Overton and his wife, Sheila, greeted us warmly. David is the CEO of the Cheesecake Factory Inc., which has purchased North Italia. I’ve been familiar with the high standards and caring attitudes David tries to imbue in his wait staff, and that day, it was like watch

“Proud Momma” was the title of a text I received this week from the parent of a fourth grader. To my surprise, it contained only a piece of artwork, a pencil drawing created by her daughter, a self-portrait of her with her friends. They were sitting, facing away from the artist, on a bench with their arms draped lovingly around each other’s backs. I immediately got why this mom was so proud. I had interviewed her for my book, The Best Things Mothers Do, and I understood that

Mornings aren’t always easy. In spite of our gentlest intentions, things sometimes go awry. Frustrations can sizzle like bacon frying on the stove. A question hovers over our morning routines: “How can we help children to start the day with good cheer?” In Room 7, the teachers (Mses. Indi, Izzy, and Natalie) have created instantaneous morning mood lifters for their kindergarten class. Instead of having their children repeat “here” when they take roll call, the teachers pose a

Are thinking and solving puzzles a form of play? Fifth grade teacher John Murphy is convinced they can be, and he loves to offer “brain start-ups” to his students, the equivalent of engaging them in a game of Frisbee or freeze-tag, only mentally. The “start-ups” aren’t part of their math lesson, they’re just fun, but they can infuse fractions and decimals with delight. Recently he asked, “Which is greater, the number of people on earth now or seconds since the Declaration of

“The sun was out and a rabbit was under the sun and an acorn was under the rabbit—a Christmas acorn.” So begins the exciting first page of preschooler Finley’s first book, A Hundred Acorns. As the book continues, the story’s protagonists, the acorns, face dangers: a ghost, a storm in a rain forest, and falling boulders. The plot finally resolves as the acorns escape and glimpse the magical presence of a sloth. Finley was extremely proud of his eight-page literary accomplishme

What did my child do? If your child’s personality seems to change at this time of year, try not to worry. In spring a child’s fancy turns to pushing limits and boundaries. The same process that incites spring flowers into what Rilke called “blooming most recklessly” propels children’s instincts for expansion. In the past people called these surges of energy “spring fever.” Wasn’t it nice when there was a name for it? Mark Twain once wrote about the condition. “It’s spring fev

Does your child feel lucky? St. Patrick’s Day, the Irish holiday coming up on March 17, is usually connected to the tradition of the “wearing of the green.” The holiday also involves long-held beliefs about what brings a person good luck. Legend has it that finding a four-leaf clover or witnessing a rainbow is a sign that our day, or even our life, will be charmed. The concept that there is such a thing as good luck involves believing in a realm where seemingly random occurre

Quiet as a cloud that tiptoes through the sky, Quiet as a cloud am I. Hushed as a fish, gliding through the sea, Hushed as a fish will I be. —From “The Quiet Song” by Hank Mindlin Images of silence from the Meher Schools’ “Quiet Song” prompt me to ask an unusual question: “How do children today learn about the nourishing resource of silence in a noisy world?” Research shows that experiences of silence promote neurogenesis—the growth of new brain cells—and can enhance learning

What’s the difference between reading a book on your own or as the member of a book club? Elementary children in second through fifth grade have had the opportunity to find out. Next week Meher School librarian Mari Ponghamsing will welcome families to the third session of her Parent-Child Book Club to discuss bestselling author Kelly Yang’s book Finally Seen. This book tells the compelling story of ten-year-old Lena, who moves to America to live with her parents and younger

Imagine building your very own tree house, a refuge in nature where you could have complete privacy from the world. Maybe you had a structure like that as a child, but this endeavor is pure fantasy. What would your dream tree house look like? Who would be allowed to come inside? These are questions elementary art educator Lara Cannon posed to second graders as part of one of their art projects. First the students talked about and painted trees with gouache paint, a mixture of

What we call “light bulb moments” can occur at any age. Picture playing a game of peek-a-boo with an infant. The joy is always the moment when the baby is suddenly awe-struck by seeing your face reappear after it was hidden. How could that be? Do you still exist even when I couldn’t see you? To an infant that burst of new reality feels miraculous. Scientists note that “aha experiences” can be catalysts throughout life for reorganizing the way our brains process information. I

My grandson, Malakai, credits his preschool teacher “Miss Ann” Pinkas with his early passion for science and current flourishing career as a nature filmmaker. He still remembers his preschool classroom and the excitement of observing baby frogs emerge from embryos and spying birds in their nests with binoculars. Ann’s budding scientists studied the life cycle of birds, how they built their nests, found food, raised their young, and migrated. Malakai says, “We even dissected o

Can children learn social sensitivity from dogs? Fourth-grade teacher Amy Weinstein sees heartening evidence in her class that they do. Her dog, Pete, who just returned to school in the middle of taking a social-skills class, was welcomed back with tenderness and love from her students. Over the year, the children have become familiar with Pete’s needs and his history. When Amy adopted him, he had been physically hurt by an “insensitive human,” and the students know that as a

My favorite story about catching oneself in a lie happened at school. I was eating lunch in a classroom when a five-year-old spotted a chocolate chip cookie on the floor and picked it up, eagerly holding it next to her lips. “Is that yours?” I asked. “Yes,” she responded eagerly. Then she paused, and it seemed as if a shadow fell across her heart. She quickly smiled and said “Just kidding” apologetically and put the cookie back on the table. I could identify with her dilemma.

Games often have strict rules about getting things right the first time. For example, the rules of Scrabble state that you can’t change your mind once you lift your hand off a tile placed on the board. In kickball there are no re-kicks, or “mulligans,” for a missed kick or bad play. Once the ball is kicked, the play is considered live. Of course, sometimes people playing games agree to let others have another turn. However, in ordinary life being able to have a second chance,

A clever father found a way to boost his son’s feelings of self-worth during a time of family transition. He purposely spoke on the phone in front of his son, listing the ways he was being a great big brother to their new baby. Sometimes he even pretended to make a call even though there was no one on the line, talking enthusiastically about his son’s amazing new brotherly behavior. This empathic dad intuited that overheard conversations often make more of an impression on ch