Mindful of Manners
“Can you be patient and make space for your friends?” This is a question elementary art teacher Ms. Lara Cannon asks children to help teach them the new etiquette she has created for her first-through-fifth-grade students in her classroom. She shows them how simply standing back and making space allows each person room to remove their apron without crowding. Ms. Lara is convinced that children can learn new manners at any age but does not want her new art etiquette to be simply a set of rules students memorize. Her goal is for her students to heighten their awareness and respect for one another.
She asks students to say, “Thank you,” when someone passes them art materials and to comment positively on each other’s artwork. Ms. Lara has also introduced the idea of asking, “Is there more I can do? Does anyone else need help?” after people clean up their own work, and many students have gone beyond their individual responsibilities.
Ms. Lara feels that focusing on manners has brought a new level of caring to her classroom. She felt gratified recently when a couple of students said, “Thank you for teaching our art class,” as they left the room.
In preschool, art activities are also a time that students can learn courtesy toward one another. Teachers coach children to ask politely, “Could you please pass me the paint?” Again, the goal is to increase children’s awareness of one another and develop kindness and empathy. “See how your friend likes it when you say please?”
Some children come to preschool with noticeable habits of politeness. One day, when a new two-year-old accidentally colored on the table, a teacher quietly sponged off his marks. The child immediately surprised her by saying, “Thank you for washing the table, Miss Ana.” He also thanks teachers for getting him a chair. His mother later shared that her husband had taught their son to say “thank you” to her for making dinner, and as a result he has learned to notice and feel grateful for the efforts of others. This little boy shows us that when it comes to courtesy, children are capable of much more than we think.
As we look around the world now, we might stop and imagine how teaching children to embody graciousness and sensitivity can brighten their own lives and cause ripples of happiness in the lives of others. Manners may seem passé because they were often taught with punitive reprimands like, “Mind your manners!” Together, we can learn nurturing ways of teaching politeness, like asking an abrupt child, “Can you say that more politely?” We can also role-model courtesy by asking ourselves in front of children, “Am I using good manners?”
Concentrating on courtesy and kindness can be a whole new form of learning. Toward that end, let’s dedicate September to be our Mindful of Manners month.
