“We’re not having maids clean our house anymore,” a four-year-old announced. “They didn’t do a good enough job cleaning anyway. They didn’t even clean behind the TV.” It isn’t common for children to talk about having maids today, but how wonderful that a four-year-old would have confidence that she could do a better job than the professionals. Her voice reflected an air of capability, even a vision that her techniques would get the house as clean as it should be.
This young child’s image of herself as a person with helping skills was obvious during the day at school. She helped set up snack and put out the mats for rest time. At lunch, if a classmate couldn’t get the lid off a container, this four-year-old leaped up to help them.
What makes a child think of herself as a helper? This four-year-old is someone who sees herself as a capable because other people have seen her that way too. In addition, children are motivated to learn how to master chores when they are given jobs a little beyond their skill level. This little girl’s teacher showed her how to help with snack and how to put out the mats, both jobs not easily mastered by a child that age. It requires patience for an adult to lead children through the steps to accomplish a job and to accept the reality that they don’t start out doing them perfectly.
Giving them jobs beyond their immediate skill level feels exciting. A three-year-old loves learning to sweep or scrub a table. To an eight-year-old, those would be a chore they may engage in automatically, but the idea of learning them at that age isn’t always motivating unless they already want to help.
Noticing the little ways a child tries to help others ensures that they develop the identity of helper—someone who can make a difference in her home and in her classroom. In our busy lives, teaching a child a task can seem like another item on a to-do list, but in the big picture the effort can transform a child from feeling helpless to having the sense that they are empowered to support others.
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