Former Teachers Return—As Moms

A change of perspective and a new appreciation for all that parents do

Kimberley (left) and Holly at Linnea’s third birthday party earlier this month. The two have been best friends since they taught together.

A former first grade teaching team is back at The Meher Schools—but now as mothers, a role that gives them newfound appreciation for the job of parenting.

Kimberley Warkentin and Holly Burns (then Harlow) co-taught in Room 9 during the 2012–13 school year.

Holly left the following year when her husband got a job in Colorado. She had been here seven years, four as a teaching assistant while pursuing her undergraduate degree, one as a kindergarten teacher and her last two as a first grade teacher. Her family returned to the Bay Area in 2019, and her daughter, Linnea, began preschool here this summer.

Kimberley was here from 2010 to 2017, first as an aide for a special-needs student and the rest of the time as a first grade teacher. After Holly left, she co-taught with Kim Polasek in Room 9 (who is still there). Kimberley’s daughter, Eva, started here three years ago as a preschooler and is now in kindergarten.

Neither woman is sure if she’ll return to full-time teaching, but both have their foot in the door—Kimberley began substituting in kindergarten through second grade this year, and Holly taught a dance class in our Summer Fun program this year and will be teaching another one during Thanksgiving week.

Being a mother “has completely changed my perspective,” Kimberley says. “I have so much more understanding of how hard it is being a parent and how different children can act at home versus at school. I can empathize with the ones who are late and how hard it is to get to school on time!”

Holly’s experience has been similar. “Becoming a parent creates a seismic shift in perspective for me as it relates to teaching. I have an even greater respect for the job of parenting. Just the day-to-day of supporting a child’s educational needs requires nearly boundless energy: keeping a separate calendar, making lunches, transportation, and following up on lessons learned in the classroom.

Holly (left) and Kimberley with three of their students in 2013—fellow first grade teacher Kim Polasek’s triplets, Scott (in the blue shirt), Zach (green shirt), and Daniel (red shirt).

“I've always appreciated parents, but now that I've been the mom keeping everything afloat behind the scenes, I'm in awe of how many parents I've known who make it look effortless.”

Mr. Doug’s Melodious Melodica

Doug entertains preschoolers last week, when he was subbing in Room 1.

Preschool substitute teacher Doug Tambling always draws a happy crowd when he plays his melodica for the children. The melodica is a free-reed instrument like a harmonica, which it sounds like. It consists of a keyboard and a flexible tube to blow into. Doug has been playing keyboards since he was a child. “I could read music before I could read books.”

Doug has been subbing in our preschool since retiring two years ago from a career in biotechnology. He had become acquainted with the White Pony when his youngest son, who is now in high school, was in our preschool. “I just fell in love with this place.” He did some substitute work then and took classes in early-childhood development at DVC. Now he’s back, putting those units to good use again!

When he’s not subbing, Doug is doing ceramics work, making music, gardening (he’s a master gardener), or, in the winter, teaching skiing at Bear Valley.

Doug enjoys playing his melodica for the children, hearing them sing along, and watching them march and dance to his tunes. (Their favorites are the ABC song and “Happy Birthday.”) He’s spreading his musical joy to other rooms this week, as his substitute work takes him wherever he’s needed.

Ensuring Your Child’s Safety On Playdates

Parents often ask me questions about sending their children on playdates. Understandably, they wonder about allowing their children to go into the home of a family they don’t know well, even when the family is a member of the Meher Schools community.

The steady stream of requests to arrange playdates poses special challenges for parents. They want their children to have friends, but ensuring responsible supervision for their children is their highest priority.

Although as teachers we often discuss children’s social interests with parents, we are not in a position to evaluate the safety of situations outside of our school. It is up to parents to make sure their children are safe, even on play dates with children they have met at our school.

Still, children’s independence should be explored, ideally gradually, with parents staying visible and readily available to guide, help, and protect. I know how bewildering this challenge can be. In this mobile age when parents may not have the support of extended family nearby, making connections with others is important.

At the same time, our busy lives in a suburban environment often keep us from getting to know people in our community well. That is why we want to suggest important guidelines for responding to requests for your child to visit or stay in a friend’s home.

Playdate Guidelines

Here are some guidelines that, as a parent and as a teacher who has dealt with a wide variety of family social situations, make good sense to me:

Do not allow your child to go alone on a playdate or overnight in a home where you do not know the parents, siblings, and the environment well. No matter how delightful the invitation, the reality is you are entrusting your child to this family’s care. It makes sense to be certain you are fully aware whom your child will encounter (parents, older brothers and sisters, people who come into the home) during a visit without you present. You also need to find out who will be supervising your child while you are away. In other words, you should know the family well and feel unhesitating, comfortable, and certain about your child’s safety.

Set up playdates as family social events. Start by having a family playdate where members of your family socialize with members of the playdate family. When families get together, children aren’t pressured to venture alone into unfamiliar settings. Casual socializing with other parents also allows you to get to know family members, their lifestyles, and their home environments.

Establishing careful patterns with your children when they are first exploring independence builds a context for safety in the future. In early adolescence, requests for time away from home multiply. Using thoughtfulness and care now creates a foundation for social guidelines in the future.

Make a plan for communicating with your children when they are away from home. Don’t feel awkward about calling to speak with children at someone else’s home. You can let the host know ahead of time that you will be phoning. Make calling a condition of sending your child on a sleepover. When you do call, check in to see whether your child is happy and whether your help is needed. In addition, teach children how to call you – and encourage them to contact you if they feel uncomfortable.

Check Megan’s List online. Information on the identity and whereabouts of registered sex offenders is available by the individual’s name, city, or zip code at this internet site. Megan’s List is not intended to further punish child offenders but to provide helpful information so that parents can make informed decisions about their children’s activities, such as playdates.

In light of this, it is up to parents to learn of known child offenders. You have the ability to protect your children from unsupervised contact with people who have a known history of child sexual abuse. We recommend that you refer to Megan’s List periodically. Other valuable information about maintaining child safety is also available at the Megan’s List website.

We appreciate your willingness to join us in our ongoing concern for child safety. Thank you for considering this information carefully.

White Pony Director Susie Kohl is a member of our Child Safety Task Force. We publish this article annually at the request of the task force. Click here for a follow-up article, “Playdates Require Sensible Guidelines.”